we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
