the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
