Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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