? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
