I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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