Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
