she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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