so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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