I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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