upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize