I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
