the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
