I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
