There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
two words: eviction party
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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