I'm lost and stupid without you.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
