Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
