oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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