So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Randomize
