she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
