Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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