My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
