Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
