It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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