BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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