He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
