Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.

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  (303): Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !! (832): Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless. http://tfl.nu/apa0
  Replies (20) Good night (3930) Bad night (699)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude i feel like shit

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  well u did eat a lot of play-doh

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  (412): dude i feel like shit (413): well u did eat a lot of play-doh http://tfl.nu/0jaq
  Replies (10) Good night (1788) Bad night (4606)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.

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  (815): i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight. http://tfl.nu/g0lm
  Replies (47) Good night (797) Bad night (3473)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!

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  (352): redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull! http://tfl.nu/8te0
  Replies (34) Good night (4337) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs

  (1-718): View more from New York

  I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.

  (718): View more from New York

  the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.

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  (718): he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs (1-718): I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious. (718): the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip. http://tfl.nu/dbxw
  Replies (31) Good night (781) Bad night (3772)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.

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  (814): It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice. http://tfl.nu/t4ih
  Replies (7) Good night (654) Bad night (5013)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.

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  (727): i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats. http://tfl.nu/tu2s
  Replies (17) Good night (4619) Bad night (1630)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken

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  (412): when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken http://tfl.nu/q0nt
  Replies (18) Good night (1833) Bad night (4361)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention

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  (781): Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention http://tfl.nu/g2dg
  Replies (6) Good night (1481) Bad night (876)
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  (347): View more from New York

  full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb

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  (347): full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb http://tfl.nu/b13u
  Replies (1) Good night (1922) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd

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  (940): Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd http://tfl.nu/3aq9
  Replies (5) Good night (2583) Bad night (1254)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.

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  (515): I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes. http://tfl.nu/92xn
  Replies (14) Good night (1779) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.

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  (267): No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool. http://tfl.nu/pfhs
  Replies (20) Good night (730) Bad night (1980)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.

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  (320): I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice. http://tfl.nu/yhhi
  Replies (6) Good night (1296) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...

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  (520): His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it... http://tfl.nu/6yoy
  Replies (2) Good night (469) Bad night (330)

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