Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak

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(952): I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak http://tfl.nu/wxhv

Replies (29) Good night (849) Bad night (949)
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(404): View more from Georgia

to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy

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(404): to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy http://tfl.nu/vv9t

Replies (23) Good night (7256) Bad night (909)
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(301): View more from Maryland

i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day

(240): View more from Maryland

hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine

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(301): i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day (240): hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine http://tfl.nu/f8k7

Replies (10) Good night (4216) Bad night (961)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.

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(706): I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night. http://tfl.nu/vtqv

Replies (26) Good night (914) Bad night (3863)
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(317): View more from Indiana

After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.

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(317): After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now. http://tfl.nu/z4u1

Replies (38) Good night (918) Bad night (8834)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are

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(816): I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are http://tfl.nu/18r6

Replies (4) Good night (1093) Bad night (1642)
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(406): View more from Montana

I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.

(1-406): View more from Montana

Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.

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(406): I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight. (1-406): Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it. http://tfl.nu/p8t9

Replies (10) Good night (3409) Bad night (886)
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(678): View more from Georgia

thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?

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(678): thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right? http://tfl.nu/2evi

Replies (7) Good night (2130) Bad night (1011)
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(425): View more from Washington

He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.

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(425): He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that. http://tfl.nu/0n60

Replies (9) Good night (2869) Bad night (783)
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(330): View more from Ohio

It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?

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(330): It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period? http://tfl.nu/rj9s

Replies (7) Good night (1331) Bad night (659)
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(831): View more from California

sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing

(408): View more from California

it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"

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(831): sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing (408): it's like you just said "i want you to suffer" http://tfl.nu/wbp5

Replies (0) Good night (543) Bad night (300)
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(361): View more from Texas

Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."

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(361): Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again." http://tfl.nu/1lne

Replies (9) Good night (981) Bad night (428)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia

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(708): Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia http://tfl.nu/57sg

Replies (6) Good night (244) Bad night (873)
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(818): View more from California

You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.

(1-818): View more from California

Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.

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(818): You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible. (1-818): Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins. http://tfl.nu/2adc

Replies (2) Good night (683) Bad night (347)
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(260): View more from Indiana

I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"

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(260): I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby" http://tfl.nu/6cul

Replies (0) Good night (549) Bad night (195)

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