Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.

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  (810): That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head. (810): I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again. http://tfl.nu/3d2e
  Replies (17) Good night (3145) Bad night (867)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf

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  (512): everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf http://tfl.nu/ndyg
  Replies (26) Good night (875) Bad night (5405)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?

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  (860): Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too? http://tfl.nu/bk9g
  Replies (3) Good night (3361) Bad night (698)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.

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  (662): I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high. http://tfl.nu/4f4j
  Replies (17) Good night (7115) Bad night (1855)
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  (650): View more from California

  Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.

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  (650): Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila. http://tfl.nu/lwvd
  Replies (12) Good night (4545) Bad night (1157)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  i want to swaddle you in tequila

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  (206): i want to swaddle you in tequila http://tfl.nu/ks6c
  Replies (4) Good night (2708) Bad night (872)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY

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  (609): These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY http://tfl.nu/f90k
  Replies (12) Good night (914) Bad night (2488)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  This is the high leading the old right now

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  (865): This is the high leading the old right now http://tfl.nu/zdtd
  Replies (1) Good night (1350) Bad night (748)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.

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  (586): In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies. http://tfl.nu/9bz2
  Replies (4) Good night (999) Bad night (609)
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  (234): View more from Ohio

  For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.

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  (234): For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well. http://tfl.nu/1g4h
  Replies (4) Good night (466) Bad night (900)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.

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  (701): Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why. http://tfl.nu/atie
  Replies (4) Good night (1096) Bad night (482)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?

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  (360): I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years? http://tfl.nu/xhbr
  Replies (3) Good night (1382) Bad night (391)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.

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  (309): you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits. http://tfl.nu/xhq2
  Replies (1) Good night (726) Bad night (347)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.

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  (802): You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars. (1-802): A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning. http://tfl.nu/iq00
  Replies (6) Good night (1799) Bad night (548)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.

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  (570): I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off. http://tfl.nu/8cid
  Replies (11) Good night (1004) Bad night (357)

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