well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.