I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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