I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
