Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
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