there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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