I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
