So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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