So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
