id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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