): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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