The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
