blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
