so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
