like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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