I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
