Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
