If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize