i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
