Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
