How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
