Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
