I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize
