Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest