she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.