At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?