can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name