i think my mom watched the whole time
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
