I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
