I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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