I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
