I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
