Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
