During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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