so that wasnt chicken after all
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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