I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
