if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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