I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
