Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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