I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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