why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize