Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
whose ass print is on the piano?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I can't turn off my feet"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
