morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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