I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
NoShamevember. You game?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
